How to Deal With Grievous Sin: A Discourse on Separation and Gospel-Centeredness

The following short article outlines specific principles on how to deal with grievous and unrepentant sin in the local church in a God-prescribed manner. These principles are fully consistent with gospel-centeredness, and provide a living, concrete witness to a foundational aspect of the life-giving message that we preach.

While other methods of dealing with grievous sin may appear more attractive to some in the church, we are bound only to that which God has revealed in His Word. When dealing with unrepentant sinners, there are ways that may seem right to us, but their end is the way to failure and continued peril for all in the local assembly (cf. Prov. 14:12; 16:25).

The goal of biblical separation is godly repentance. God calls all men and women everywhere to continually repent, and He uses His Word through His people in specific ways to convict (or harden) consciences through the work of His Spirit.

I. Dealing with schismatics – From Paul’s letter to the Romans

I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil. (Romans 16:17-19 ESV)

This passage deals with the identification of and separation from professing Christians who “cause divisions” and create sinful obstacles in the lives of others. By this type of behavior, the sinner reveals that he is not truly a part of the new covenant community through the new birth, and that he does not actually “serve our Lord Christ, but [his] own appetites.”

The “smooth talk and flattery” of the schismatic is deadly in that it “deceives the hearts of the naïve.” The naïve are (at least) those in the church community who are spiritually immature, those who are not properly grounded in their faith through diligent study of the Word and prayer (cf. Heb. 5:11-14). The explanations and reasoning of the schismatic appeals to the undiscerning and biblically uninformed ear, but in reality their divisive speech turns out to be nothing but lies and deception (“they deceive”).

Those who heed the command to separate from schismatics demonstrate continued “obedience” in their lives, proving by their actions that they are “wise as to what is good” and “innocent” of the “evil” inherent in this sin and what it produces in the lives of those who cooperate with it. (Cooperation with such people is usually maintained under the guise of an ungodly and anti-gospel “tolerance” of their wicked lifestyle. Let us not “tolerate” what the Lord has commanded we “avoid.”)  

Those who are not obedient in this area and who enjoy full, unbroken fellowship with schismatics are not “innocent as to what is evil” and, in a very real way, participate in the perpetuation of their sin (and its manifold consequences) through their inaction (cf. 2 John 9-11).

                                   

This command is given to maintain the spiritual purity of the church through a unified and obedient gospel-response to sin. Separation is a graphic demonstration of the reality of the deadly consequences of sin, and thus testifies to the authenticity of our preached message. A gospel with no consequences for sin is no gospel at all. In separation, the gospel is thus maintained as the chief guiding principle of our lives and decision-making.

Such a response also helps to protect and teach immature Christians how to rightly deal with the very real danger of continually divisive people.                        

II. Dealing with interpersonal sin - In Matthew’s gospel

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17 ESV)

This passage teaches us how to deal with interpersonal sin in the life of a professing Christian. Sin needs to be addressed privately and individually at first (“go and tell him his fault between you and him alone”).

Then, if the person fails to respond to a private confrontation (or repeated one-on-one sessions), “take one or two others along” in order to firmly establish the charge against the sinner with the purpose of bringing the person to conviction and repentance for the sin.

If the person fails to repent, we are to involve even more people in the situation (including church leaders), graciously granting the person further time to repent, with conviction building based on the unified group of witnesses against them.

The multiplicity of witnesses is designed to produce repentance. When confronted repeatedly with multiple corroborating witnesses, it becomes harder and harder for the sinner to suppress the truth in unrighteousness.

These commands are given to maintain the spiritual purity of the church through a unified and obedient gospel-response to sin. The separation methodology commanded in this text testifies to the complete necessity of repentance for reconciliation and the restoration of relationships. The call to repentance is a foundational component of the gospel and reconciliation with God, and here it serves as a testimony to the gospel’s authenticity. We do not preach a message of repentance and live out another message, cooperating with sin while failing to rebuke it.

The careful process of confrontation and the establishment of the charge against the offender is a concrete illustration of how God establishes His charge against us that we are lawbreakers, deserving judgment and separation from Him for our stubbornness and rebellion. This is another foundational aspect of the gospel on display in our lives.

Finally, this process displays the mercy and long-suffering of God in that the judgment of separation is not immediately brought upon the offender, but they are instead given several chances to repent until the punishment is instituted. The mercy of God is also a core component of our gospel message.

However, His mercy is not a worldly mercy that fails to rightly deal with sin. It is not a mercy that overlooks sin pretends that it is not present. It is a mercy that withholds punishment while confronting and calling to repentance. It is not a mercy that has fellowship with sin, but a mercy that stands apart from sin and rebukes it, lovingly calling the sinner to repent.

III. Dealing with sexual sin - In the church at Corinth

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you…. I wrote to you in my [previous] letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” (1 Corinthians 5 ESV)

Do not associate at all with professing Christians[1] who are “guilty of sexual immorality,” for this is a kind of sin so heinous that is “not even tolerated among the pagans.” If the unacceptability of certain kinds of sexual immorality is so inherently obvious to the non-Christian world, should it not be even more obvious among the community of faith?

This type of sin reveals the true spiritual state of the person involved, if there is no repentance. As Simon Kistemaker states, “To describe someone who is sexually immoral as a brother is to write a contradiction. These two concepts are mutually exclusive…. This person, because of his sin…is excluded from God’s kingdom…. Sexual immorality is…[a] sin which the Christian community condemns.”[2]

Christians are commanded to separate from such a person (“let him who has done this be removed from among you”) to such an extent that normative, regular fellowship is withdrawn completely (“not to associate…not even to eat with such a one”). Kistemaker states that the text calls for “a complete separation of the Christian community and the offending sinner (Matt. 18:17). The sinner is a blot on the integrity of the church (compare 2 Pet. 2:13; Jude 12). Such a sinner must be excluded from Christian fellowship. Then he may learn to see the error of his way [and] repent…(compare 2 Thess. 3:14-15).”[3] If believers fail to bring the judgment of separation upon a professing brother or sister, they place themselves “on the side of the sinner and [are] equally guilty before God.”[4]  

The separation is commanded in order to maintain the spiritual purity of the church so that its gospel witness may be authenticated by what is publicly approves and what it publicly condemns. The disassociation testifies to both the sinner and the watching world the fact that this person does not belong to Christ or to His body the Church, regardless of what he or she may claim to the contrary.

The exclusion of unbelievers at the Lord’s Supper serves a similar purpose. The Lord’s Table is a demonstration of the intimacy of the fellowship of believers in unity with Christ our Lord. The table is “fenced” by the minister in order to purposely and publicly exclude unbelievers and the disobedient from participating (1 Cor. 11:27-32). This serves as a testimony of judgment against them and testifies to their separation from the living God because of sin, calling them to repentance so that they may enjoy fellowship with the Lord and with His people.

In separation, crucial elements of the gospel message (such as the utter seriousness of sin and its consequences, i.e., separation from God) are thus proclaimed and maintained. The gospel, as the chief guiding principle of our lives and that which creates and forms the borders of our individual and corporate ethics in Christ Jesus, is what is at stake here.

Exclusion from normative fellowship is designed to bring about repentance, shame, and conviction in the sexually immoral person. The dynamics of separation works to cultivate shame and sorrow in believers and unbelievers alike, for all created in God’s image and likeness bear the same conscience that testifies against them. Conviction of sin occurs when the conscience is pricked by believers who bring Scripture and the gospel to bear upon the situation (cf. Rom. 2:15). 

A secondary purpose (but one of no less importance) of this command to separate is to “test” the believer’s “obedience” to God in this difficult matter (see 2 Cor. 2:5-11). Personal family loyalties, friendships, and similar affections may not be placed above clear commands to call out and deal with destructive sins. A failure to be obedient in this area may indicate that the believer is not submitting to the Lordship of Christ in all areas of life. All loyalties must remain subordinate to the Lordship of Christ:

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:34-37 ESV)  

Then his mother and his brothers came to him, but they could not reach him because of the crowd. And he was told, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see you.” But he answered them, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.” (Luke 8:19-21)  

As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:57-62 ESV)

 IV. Dealing with lifestyles and patterns of sin – In the church at Thessalonica

Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother. (2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 ESV)

The command is to separate (“keep away from”) from professing Christians who do not conduct themselves “in accord with the tradition” (the body of teaching) that has been handed down from Christ through His apostles. The part of the “tradition” that was being betrayed at Thessalonica was the creation ordinance of labor.[5]

The idle in the congregation were also violating the gospel principle of reaping and sowing (i.e., there are severe consequences for sin) and damaging the witness of the Christian community at large.

Exclusion is designed to maintain the gospel witness of God’s people. The acceptance of grievous, unrepentant lifestyle sins (i.e., sexual immorality, idolatry/covetousness/greed, alcoholism/drug abuse, or sloth/idleness) severely damage the gospel testimony of the church and serve to undermine the foundations of the gospel itself.

The separation is also enjoined to bring shame in the sinner (“that he may be ashamed”), which may serve to produce repentance for sin, if God has so willed (cf. 2 Tim. 2:25 on God “granting” repentance).

V. Dealing with grievous sin – In John’s second letter

Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works. (2 John 1:9-11 ESV)

We are not to show Christian fellowship and hospitality to someone who is actively pursuing grievous sin[6] (willful unbelief in this passage) and is coming to you trying to convince you that evil is good and good is evil (cf. Isa. 5:20). We are commanded not to show hospitality (“do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting”) to those who are in grievous sin and who are trying to convince others of the righteousness of their wickedness. Those who demonstrate Christian hospitality to such people actually “take part” in their “wicked works” and thus commit sin themselves.

This severe exclusion (“do not give him any greeting”) is designed to maintain the doctrinal purity (“the teaching of Christ”) and gospel witness of God’s people. The acceptance of false doctrine and the uncritical acceptance of those who hold to it severely damages the gospel testimony of the church and serves to undermine the foundations of the gospel itself through the minimization of sin and its devastating consequences.

Summary and Related Scripture for Study and Meditation

We are commanded to separate from professing Christians who create divisions and schisms (Rom. 16).

We are commanded to separate from professing Christians who fail to respond to repeated personal and group exhortations to repent (Matt. 18).

We are commanded to separate from professing Christians who are intent on pursuing a lifestyle of sexual immorality (1 Cor. 5). Failure to do so demonstrates that the believer has failed the “test” to be obedient to Christ in this area (2 Cor. 2:5-11), and may indicate a failure to enthrone Christ as Lord in this area of one’s life (Matt. 10:34-37; Luke 9:57-62).

We are commanded to separate from professing Christians who are living a lifestyle of sin that is “not in accord” with the apostolic tradition delivered by Christ (2 Thess. 3).

We are commanded to separate from those who are in grievous sin and who are actively trying to convince others of the righteousness of their wicked beliefs and actions. We are not even to show basic hospitality to such people. Those who demonstrate Christian hospitality to such people actually “take part” in their “wicked works” and thus commit sin themselves. (2 John 9-11).

Separation is commanded in order to demonstrate the deadly seriousness of sin and its consequences. The very foundation of the gospel rests on God’s wrath for sinners. Separation from sin and sinners is holiness demonstrated in day-to-day life. It testifies to and authenticates an aspect critical to the gospel message (separation brought about as a direct result of sin, with a call to repentance) in the same way that mercy ministries to addicts/alcoholics/prisoners does (mercy and grace is offered in spite of sin, with a call to repentance). In neither case is full fellowship enjoyed until repentance is granted by God. We do not take thieves, murderers, prostitutes, alcoholics, street people, and drug addicts into our homes when we do mercy ministry (thus endangering our entire family in such an exposure), but rather, we minister the gospel in the context in which they have, by their own actions, placed themselves. Similarly, there must be a restriction of fellowship and separation when dealing with grievous patterns of interpersonal sin in order to demonstrate and authenticate the reality of the gospel we preach.

Separation is designed by God to bring about reconciliation to a holistic and fully restored relationship. Forgiveness and love is always present and offered, but always with the caveat of repentance and a forsaking of evil. This mirrors the reality of Christ’s redemptive work, which was sufficient for all people to be saved, but only efficient for those who repent. Only those who repent are saved and enjoy the fellowship of Christ. God’s love and grace are always there, but are appropriated only when there is repentance. We must be like our Father in heaven: offering our love and forgiveness to the transgressor, but only on the condition of repentance.

Luke 17:3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 

Prov. 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

Prov. 28:13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.  

Titus 2:11-15 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

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[1] “Anyone who bears the name,” ὀνομαζόμενος in 1 Cor. 5:11, is the present middle participle and can be rendered “although he calls himself” (Kistemaker), “any so-called brother” (NASB), or “anyone who claims to be a believer” (NET).

            [2] “I Corinthians” in New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 1993), 169-70. “Sexually immoral” [πόρνος, pornos] is a term that is descriptive, not of a believer, but of an unbeliever. Cf. Rev. 21:8: But as for the cowardly, the faithless…the sexually immoral [pornos], sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

[3] “I Corinthians,” 170-71. On cultural customs in the time of Paul, Kistemaker states, “In an Eastern society…to not offer food to a relative, an acquaintance, a friend, or a guest [“not even to eat with such a one”] could be interpreted as a declaration of war” (170). This underscores the seriousness of the injunction “not to eat” with the offending sinner. The very integrity of the church and its message of coming judgment for sin are at stake.

[4] Kistemaker, 172.

[5] Cf. O. Palmer Robertson: “Labor belongs integrally to the role of man made in God’s image. This creation-ordinance [of labor] joins with the Sabbath and marriage to provide meaningful structure to man’s existence under the general provisions of the covenant of creation [which others call the ‘covenant of works’]” (The Christ of the Covenants [Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1980], 81).

[6] “Grievous sin” above can be defined as any sin that has a significant deleterious effect in the lives of others. Thus, the negative spiritual impact of this type of sin is multiplied in a way that is not present in lesser sins. Cf. Matt. 18:5-6; John 19:11.

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